Monday, February 9, 2009

Resilience

I googled "resilience" and came up with a few things from some articles that popped up.

Resilience means knowing how to cope in spite of setbacks, or barriers, or limited resources.

Amen to that. The 'limited resources' part, especially. Right now, it's no big secret. Dh and I are in a financial crisis. Between being let go, working for peanuts, getting laid off, and now working for a slight bit more than peanuts, it's a tough go.

We just found out that his car has died. Oh, not totally true. It has died unless we want to plunk $2300 into it. It's been a GREAT car. We've LOVED the car. It's now 11 years old and I think it's time to call it quits.

Now what?
The list of broken things around my house grows as each day passes.
Examples include:
1. Garbage disposal
2. plug in my tub
3. toilet in the kids' bathroom
4. my car needs a tune up

Oh, I must be overlooking somethings around here but that's a good start.

What exactly are we supposed to do? We are working with our mortgage company to try to get them to reduce our monthly payment. We've already been asked by those assisting us with Countrywide-- how devoted are you to keeping the home? Eek! Um, LOTS!

I'm trying to get another job. Now Stan's car is dead. Hmm... Ok lets go back to more articles for some words of support and a positive outlook. (I chose the ones I liked best)

Here are a few ideas to consider when you feel like quitting:
1. It is temporary.
2. You need it to learn a valuable lesson.
4. You need to give your life more integrity or character.

9. You need to learn to live in the present moment.
10. You need to learn to take life less seriously

Some of the ones I took out, I really DH and I *had* gained in the last year and a half with all the difficult times we've endured. I keep praying that the lesson to be learned here is NOT to lose the house. Ok, what do we need to be resilient through this?

Factors in Resilience
A combination of factors contributes to resilience. Many studies show that the primary factor in resilience is having caring and supportive relationships within and outside the family. Relationships that create love and trust, provide role models, and offer encouragement and reassurance help bolster a person's resilience.
Several additional factors are associated with resilience, including:
The capacity to make realistic plans and take steps to carry them out
A positive view of yourself and confidence in your strengths and abilities
Skills in communication and problem solving
The capacity to manage strong feelings and impulses
All of these are factors that people can develop in themselves.


Ok, we are very fortunate. We have found out along this wild ride that we have wonderful family and friends that only want the best for us. Thank GOD for each and every one of them!
"Realistic plans:"..? Hm... guess we can work on that one. I'm at a loss as what to do here.
And "manage strong feelings and impulses", ok we can definately work more on that one.

I have to say, I do feel a little better but am wondering how all this will pan out. Sheesh, we didn't need the car to crap out right now.

Prayers and positive thoughts are welcome! And be resilient!

2 comments:

Jena said...

Wow do you have a lot going on right now! I will for sure be praying for you to have wisdom in all this. I like your googling for resilience. Great idea. It's hard to stay positive when it seems like everything is spinning around you.

Thanks for stopping by my blog, and I'm glad my post encouraged you. You encouraged me. :)

Morgaine said...

Here I am in this place with you,
Wishing I could take on your burden
halving it somehow; so you would have less.
I want to sit in this dark place beside you.

All I can give you is my love and support,
Remind you how proud you make me everyday.
How strong I know you are; even when you don't feel it.
Even when you are so so tired.

People love you and they'll hold your hand when you stumble; when it all feels like too much. Because you will endure
and grow as you always have.
Now and forever.

You may not know how things will turn out.
You may not always know who your friends are,
or where the BS ends or the truth begins.
I will be here while you figure it all out.

Because when all is said and done,
I believe in you. I love what you have been and what you are becoming.
In these moments lie a chance
to grow, for yourself and everyone else.
You amaze me everyday. Someday, you will amaze yourself.